As this is the beginning of the blog, I suppose introductions are appropriate. I’ll explain myself and them leave it to the other members of the household who want to contribute to introduce themselves as they see fit.
As I’m thinking about how to introduce myself, the fear of bloviating endlessly with tons of annoying drivel stops me dead. You don’t know me yet, dear visitor, but I do tend to go on and on.
The tl;dr version may be thus: I’m a geek, a writer, a techie, a nerd, who has been knowingly poly since circa 1999, “open” since circa 1996, and happily married since circa 1991. (Heh, that last “circa” was a joke, wifeypoo — don’t hit me.) I started this blog to express poly and poly-related things that I can’t do in other social media due to the need for discretion. And really, that’s important stuff.
Still reading? … well, okay. Let’s see….
I was raised Christian (not very conservative, pretty liberal Methodist, but with very “traditional” values none the less), in the west and midwest parts of the US. My family growing up worshiped at the feet of Reagan, but then actually moved more Democrat as the GOP started going off the deep end. I myself actually planned to become a minister. Then, I finally read my Bible cover to cover and, to paraphrase Issac Asimov, the best way to become an atheist is to read the Bible. About 12 years of intense questioning and searching and evolving after that, I did finally determine I was an atheist, and a secular humanist.
I, for my part, am not interested in making this blog become political or (anti-)religious! But if we’re discussing polyamory and other “non-traditional” relationships and lifestyles (which, by the way, as we’ll see in future posts, poly-like relationships have been very not unusual in many cultures throughout history…), then religion and indoctrinated ideas of values becomes very important. In fact, it’s religious beliefs and indoctrinated values that is keeping me from living life out loud and living sincerely. More on that later.
In any case, even though I had a “traditional” upbringing, even as I still labeled myself as “liberal Christian,” I didn’t have any problem with the concepts of open relationships from the outset. Long before I knew the term “polyamory,” even just sexually and without love involved, I knew for myself that open relationships could be healthy and possible so long as all parties were sincere, honest, communicative.
In the effort to keep these early exposition posts short, I won’t yet get into my wife and my history of open marriage and learning how to be poly…it’s been a long road with many ups and downs. Some very serious downs. But really, what relationships don’t have those? Yes, being open, being poly, adds another dimension of… stuff to deal with. But it also alleviates a great many other issues…. Well, more on this later as well. We have many many future opportunities, dear visitor, to discuss all of these things in great detail! Back to me….
My thing, my raisin detruh (teehee), is to live as sincere a life as possible. In all ways, in all things. My relationships, my self discovery, my ethics, where I spend my time and effort and money, how I present myself to the world. It’s a goal, a path to follow, that’s not always easy — but it has served me as a benchmark against which to decide how to handle situations and dilemmas. Sadly, it’s not always possible because my living sincerely can sometimes come in conflict with other people’s comfort, and my other goal, benchmark, is to not be a dick.
For example: It means a very, very great deal to me to not be in the closet — not about poly, not about being bi, not about these things which are very important and major parts of my life. Not that I want to throw it in people’s faces or become a posterchild for these things! But, just not hide it. However, I have people in my life, that mean much to me, that would be harmed by my being open and sincere. So, my ethic to not harm or allow harm to come to others, naturally must trump my ethic to live sincerely. Kest la vee. (teehee. Wife is going to kill me.)
Okay, deep topics to be explored further, later. I’m a writer, I’m a geek. I love scifi, I have a love/disdain relationship with Heinlein (thought I should mention that since this is a poly-related blog… in fact, I think Heinlein will be my next post!) I love to camp and hike, but don’t do in near often enough. I waste way too much time on Facebook, and not near as much on podcasts as I used to. I truly think my daughter is crazy amazing and the best, and I generally dislike kids.
Well, that’s enough intro for now. You’ll be getting far too much of me as time goes on….