Came across this very good article about polyamory, featuring a household of poly lovers living together, along with their kids: Dishes, Dinner, & Sex. There were three things that struck me about this article:
The first was the fact that the article was positive and informative and not exploitative. It used to be that anything found in the media about polyamory or open marriages of any sort was for shock value. God forbid anyone with an open marriage depicted in a crime drama like “CSI” was portrayed in any way other than a degenerate. But more often, the last couple of years, we’re seeing a lot of news and fluff pieces that are portraying polyamory as a different normal. The hipster in me is sighing and rolling his eyes, “Guhh! Polyamory is OVER!” But the positive polyamorist in me is so happy that with each positive article, I, and my poly family, are closer to being accepted (should we ever be really “out”).
Which brings me to my other thought: Envy, serious envy, over not being able to be as out as these people in the article! I suppose this is as good a time as any to discuss a bit about my one biggest goal, ethic, raison d’être (for lack of a less falutin’ term). My greatest desire is to live as sincere a life as possible. To myself, and to others. That whole to my own self be true, know thyself, and all of that. To be the person I need, I want, to be, and then to exhibit and be it unapologetically. That should mean, preferably, that I should be out and proud of it.
And it’s not just my own sake, for my own conscience that I want to be out — but for the people I love. I express my love for my wife online, to friends and family. But there’s now another important person in my life that I love and care about, and I can’t say a word about it outside the house. Well, in the rare poly group or chat we may attend, but that’s been maybe twice in total. But here online, in social media, where I interact with pretty much everyone else that’s important in my life (and semi-important), it must be kept secret. Like it’s a shameful, embarrassing thing to hide. And, sadly, as previously mentioned in another post, it does have to be kept secret because of extended family that don’t understand and can create terrible trouble and stress for our family.
I wish so very much I could say, screw them if they can’t accept us. It’s not their life, and it’s them that have to deal with their small-mindedness, not us. We have to live our own life and not have to cow-tow to others’ bigotry. But, alas, that’s not my decision to make.
Well, that’s two things when I thought I had four… I forgot the other two and I never edit blog posts — I just write them stream-of-conciseness. So, we’ll just leave that hanging there and maybe come back to the missing two points at another time.